Will Becca’s Marriage to a Nigerian Last? ~ Open Letter

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A lot of people are worried about Becca marrying a Nigerian and though there is no scientific evidence that Ghanaian-Nigerian showbiz relationships or marriages do not last, there seems to be a lot of contemporary examples backing their fears.

No one should wish another doom, especially when they take the steps to get married. But marriage, mostly glorified, is a social contract that only works under the belt of understanding, familiarity, unending sacrifice and contentment.

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Like Thomas Hobbes’ State of Nature, people are inherently independent, self seeking and self-controlling and perhaps brutish when they are single. Once married, a lot must be given up, for the flourishing of this important but over-hyped social contract.

In the cases of celebrities or showbiz persons, there is the fundamental problem of giving up things and becoming less self-serving. And then sometimes cutting down the facade, to let your partner know the real you. If your partner fell in love with a facade, then the disappointment is inevitable—same if you also fell in love with something that turns out to be a facade.

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Though Ghana and Nigeria are almost neighbours, anyone who has dated a Nigerian before (I dated a Nigerian-British, born in the UK, for about 5 years) would agree with me on the huge disparity in our way of doing things and even perceptions, shaped by what I cannot put my hands on. Beyond the huge cultural or perception gaps, the nuances in wants, is almost unending.

I don’t know what Becca and her new Nigerian husband have decided, but an important question is; where will they live together? Ghana or Nigeria?

I hope they did not say they will travel between countries. Because while this sounds doable and even fun, it wouldn’t work.

Would the man who has his achievements and connections in Nigeria suddenly move to live in Ghana, a country Nigerians see as small as one state in Nigeria, where he probably means nothing to even the Waakye seller?

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Would Becca give up everything in Ghana to go and play second or rising star to Tiwa Savage and the rest?

The conundrum is confusing, more than the above, especially if you are aware of Becca’s unfettered obstinacy and stubbornness.

I hope they have a fix for it because we don’t want another Chris Attoh and Damilola kind of breakup anytime soon.

If you give me a million dollar to bet on whether the marriage will last or not, I know where I will secure my bet to make a good win.

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I wish them well but well-wishing does not guarantee anything. One must be ready to let go a lot in a foreign country if they want this marriage to work.

Marrying anyone from a different country, not only Nigeria, comes with added work.

—Chris-Vincent Agyapong


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